Can You Dig It? Xylophone productions
Saturday 26 May 7:30pm
Comedy songs about growing your own vegetables, starring musical comedians (and real-life allotment holders) Jo Stephenson and Dan Woods.
This critically acclaimed horticultural revue includes the ballad of Derrick the Evil Pigeon, a powerful love song to Alan Titchmarsh and the world’s first rap battle between a gardener and a slug.
Can You Dig It? will appeal if you are a vegetable-growing novice or a seasoned cultivator, as Jo and Dan delve into the mysterious and competitive world of vegetable shows. No filth (except mud).
“It is difficult not to laugh. Highly entertaining”
The Daily Telegraph
The CAN YOU DIG IT? guide to making a cucumber trumpet.
You will need: A cucumber (straight ones are best), a red, green or yellow pepper (the colour doesn’t matter), a carrot, a large drill bit, a small kitchen knife or turning knife, an ordinary kitchen knife for chopping, chopping board.
Step 1 Slice off either end of the cucumber then punch or drill a hole through the entire length using the drill bit. You need a fairly large drill bit because you get a better tone if you remove all the soft centre. You can use a half cucumber for simplicity but a whole cucumber makes a more impressive trumpet.
Step 2 Carve a chunk of carrot into something resembling a trumpet mouthpiece using the small knife. This is quite tricky and the advanced cucumberphone maker will want to study real trumpet mouthpieces and mimic these as closely as possible. Insert the mouthpiece into one end of the cucumber tube.
Step 3 Cut one end off a pepper. Carefully de-seed it and then and make a smaller hole in the other end, in which to insert your cucumber. It doesn’t matter which end you cut off. Depending on the pepper, you may create a finer bell by cutting off the stem end and making the hole in the bottom. But take care – this weakens the pepper and can make it split. Insert the cucumber into the pepper.
Step 4 You are now ready to play your trumpet. You do this by blowing a raspberry into the mouthpiece.
Step 5 Refrigerate and eat within 24 hours.
NB: REMEMBER TO PUT ALL YOUR LEFTOVERS IN THE COMPOST BIN
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